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Toyota Prius
link title When it comes time for liberals and hippies to buy a new car, there's only one real choice for them: the Toyota Prius. Summary The Toyota Prius is the largest Matchbox car ever made. It is also the first toy car to run only on Al Gore's ego. Unfortunately, the Prius will eventually tear the universe apart due to the excess of homosexuality. This dangerous toxin is released into the air by the Prius. Along with the poison, other emissions are: anthrax, Dennis Kucinich's pocket items, and other Priuses (that's right, they reproduce!). Other auto-makers are trying to stop this menace, but have made the opposite motion. The homosexuality actually infects those who oppose it first. This car will be the largest cause of people turning gay and wanting to burn in hell. Hopefully it will be stopped before it takes over the world with its buddy, Japan. Quotes "Help me!!! This prius is making me drive it! Why does James Brown sound entertaining!?!?!?" -The average republican "Ooh, girlfriend! I love Priutheth!" -San Fransisco "The prius will help me d'%'e&'s'#'t'@'r'*'o'$'y' America. I approve." Al Franken. Popularity The vehicle was originally manufactured in small numbers by Japanese car-maker Toyota as a joke. The Japanese wanted to watch small, underpowered cars get crushed by powerful, macho American trucks, much like the Romans watched Christians ripped limb-from-limb by lions. Unfortunately, insecure liberals saw the car as an opportunity to push their mythical global warming agenda. How It Works Unlike conventional automobiles, the Prius runs on a blend of ethanol, socialism and aborted fetuses. As a "hybrid", the vehicle also includes an electric motor, which allows the drivers to concentrate on things like Al Franken and hating America without being distracted by noise. Types of Priuses *Gay *Liberal *Hippy *Absolute evil Treatment Until recently, there was nothing stopping the spread of the Prius menace, but the friendly people at Prescott Pharmaceuticals finally created a treatment: The Vaxagas Treatment Kit. The kit comes with a hose, pressure gauge, and a 40 gallon tank of gasoline. Just insert the hose into the mouth and start pumping gas faster than an Arabian. The oil going through the body will drive away the harmful toxins from the Prius "liberal emissions". Side affects include: Brain flip, oily skin, amputated legs, and a democratic presidency. Good Features Available On Priuses The Future In the future, there will be a war between Priuses and Hummers. They will both be able to transform into robots. Nostradamus had predicted this war to start in year 547546476546546754478487465476546758 so we need to prepare for it now. The Prius leader, Darth Vader, leads Toyota against the Hummers with a large army of small "cars". It will pretty much be a war between Japan and America so it is easy to predict that the Hummers will win. Darth Vader was originaly a respected officer for the Hummer army, but his breathing broke. He blamed the Hummer exhaust for this because he is stupid. He vowed revenge on Hummers and teamed up with Al Gore XIV. It will be a brutal war until year 547546476546546754478487465476546763 when the Hummers drop a smog bomb on the Toyota factory. Hummers are projected to win because they have the power of the greatest country ever!!!!! However, fearing America's ultimate success, the Obama white house has forced GM to abandon the Hummer brand. Sichuan Tengzhong Heavy Industrial Machinery Company tried to buy the Hummer brand for the glory of the Chinese communist government, but the Chinese government rejected the deal on the grounds that China could just counterfeit the Hummer without having to pay for the branding rights. Without a supply of new Hummers to replace the aging Hummers in the army of large-engined righteousness, America's fate in 547546476546546754478487465476546762 is uncertain. Nostradamus IX speculated that America may be forced to join forces with the Chinese to create an army of Hummers and counterfeited Mummers in order to defeat the Prius scourge. Fractoids * The ratio of Priuses to humans in San Francisco is 3 to 1. * The Prius can't even pass Georgia's emmissions test. * Every Toyota Prius comes preinstalled with a faded "Kerry-Edwards '04" bumper sticker. * No one can ever destroy a prius because the power of the rainbow keeps it strong. * Isn't it funny that Japan is trying to help our environment even after we destroyed theirs with the A-bombs radiation poisoning? * Priuses suck * When you drive a Prius, no one can hear you scream.